The only thing I knew to expect was pain. While I heard there could be blood (a Brazilian wax is, after all, a vicious tearing of hair from the skin) it was still shocking to look between my legs and see sticky pubes clumped together with specks of blood. But I prevailed. I also knew that getting a Brazilian required someone getting personal with my vagina but nothing really prepares you for that intense, non-medical related inspection.
With gloved fingers the esthetician, Fatima, split my pussy lips apart and looked deep into my vagina with a professional concentration. If my vagina had eyes they would’ve been looking pitifully back at her, begging her to be gentle. What’s the point in having your vagina so intensely looked at without the satisfying pressure of a warm, fat tongue?
A Brazilian wax means you get the sides, lips and ass waxed. The top of your pussy can be shaped any way you like and I requested a triangle patch, you can also get a landing strip or simply go bare but why get more hair ripped off than necessary?
My pubic hair removal journey began in high school. It was so hairy I was scared I’d get lost down there and cut my lips so I asked my mother for help. I started with scissors because it was a jungle. I moved on to razors and used to shave the entire thing. It was always interesting to look at myself bare in the mirror but it was itchy as fuck when it grew back and left not very cute scars all over my vagina and inner thighs. And so, the goal of the Brazilian was to avoid getting scars and have longer lasting (about 3 weeks) smoothness. It was not meant to attract suitors.
Fatima asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said no and there was a silence with a lingering thought “So what’s the point then?” I admit, the first time I seriously considered getting a Brazilian was because I wanted my vagina to be a itch free wonderland for faces to smash against for a long period of time. But after a while, it became a part of my mission to create a scar free zone that I found visually pleasing (I am not here for you). I’ve been asked if the pain was worth it and maybe it’s because the question was coming from men that I automatically translated it into a sexually allusive question but, in truth, it was worth it because it produced the following life lessons: take a couple shots before going in, being wiped as a grown woman is odd but not disappointing if my crotch is burning, buy a handheld mirror so I can say hello to my vagina from time to time, waxing my ass cheeks is less painful than my vagina, the perineum (the space between your ass and genitals) is the second most painful spot to wax and I’ll just shave the lips myself next time because that’s definitely not worth the pain (but we’ll see).